I burnt out…

The semester is ending. Thanksgiving is coming. The Holiday’s are near. It is that time of the year where we all desperately need a nap or a hug… of both. Probably both. Yea…

This time of the year may bring us to a stop. We start to neglect our school work, jobs, families etc. It is hard to stay awake, and did I mention that time change? yeesh… I sure hope that gets voted out by next year!

When the weather gets cold, our bones get fragile, minds weaken and sleep increases. Take care of your body. If you burn out you are putting your body under too much stress.

So yea… story time..

I burnt out this weekend. I take on a lot at once. You know those people who have a hard time saying “no” to things? I am one of those. Lol…

So I was working on an article, editing our newest episode, balancing school work, internship, freelancing and more. I push myself much harder than I should but it is because I am so set on my future. I have always been a go getter, but this weekend the only thing I should have gotten was a nap.

I had a moment alone. I sat down and really contemplated my future. Was I good enough? Was my work up to par? Am I taking all the proper steps to a successful career? Was my future the only thing I cared about?

It was emotional. It teachable. It was painful… but it was necessary. I needed time to think. I always felt like I wasn’t enough… but then—over the weekend— I conducted an interview for a story I am working on… and things got interesting.

As I was asking my source questions for the story, they flipped the questions on me. Now, this sometimes happens to me when people are skeptical of the story I am producing…but this time was different.

The source started to ask me about how much work I do. I told them everything I am working on. The source told me not to push myself too hard and that I am going to burn out. Crazy, I had the night before.

They then proceeded to tell me that the reason I do this to myself is the same reason many other minorities do it to themselves—the fear of failure. This system we work in, the schools we attend, the jobs we hope to attain… they are not made for people of color. POC are subconsciously prone to overworking themselves and burning out because we know our basic work samples are not nearly enough.

I was mind blown. I feel that I have always known this, but I did not realize how much I played into it. It made me proud even though it should make me angry. It showed me that there are so many people out there just like me who hope to attain positions they can only dream of.

Lesson that was learn from this: It is okay to take a break. Step back. Acknowledge that you have done a lot. You are enough. You matter.

Take these little moments in life that happen to you and view them from another lens. when one door closes, another opens. It will all work out I the end. Just focus on you and your needs in life. No person in this world knows you better than yourself.

 

Remember that.

 

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